I'm laying in bed, on my stomach, with an ice pack on my bottom. No, nothing sick and twisted took place, I simply fell... again. I was under the impression that after the first spill I took this year, I was all done with this. I suppose because I wasn't injured the first time Winter decided that wasn't good enough. So, on a day that I have a test at school, my legs go out from under me, and I land tailbone first on the corner of a railroad tie in my driveway... OOOOUCH.
I think I broke my butt.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Rules for driving when Michelle is present.
1) Get off my ass. Getting so close to my back end that I can no longer see your headlights will not make me go any faster. As a matter of fact, this will give me the urge to slam on my brakes and let you rear-end me... Oh shucks, who would be at fault there? Hello new vehicle for me; Hello high insurance rates for you.
2) Once you pass me, keep going. This is pretty simple. If I'm going so slow that you need to pass me, keep on going once you're in front. Don't hit your brakes and slow down to a slower pace than what I was going. This makes me mad. I'm not nice when I'm mad.
3) Take your foot off the peddal. Riding your brakes is irritating and useless. You are the cause of accidents, stupid. In the winter time, this rule also applies to the gas peddal. When you're trying to take off from a complete stop, flooring it will get you nowhere. You know that asshole who spins his tires and floats into traffic? You're him.
4) Don't cut me off. Simple. Just don't.
aaaand not so much a rule, but, if you're an idiot, I will call the cops. I've done it before, will certainly do it again. I have fantastic memory, I'll be sharing your plate number.
Ok, friends! Drive safe! Seriously... the roads are horrible.
2) Once you pass me, keep going. This is pretty simple. If I'm going so slow that you need to pass me, keep on going once you're in front. Don't hit your brakes and slow down to a slower pace than what I was going. This makes me mad. I'm not nice when I'm mad.
3) Take your foot off the peddal. Riding your brakes is irritating and useless. You are the cause of accidents, stupid. In the winter time, this rule also applies to the gas peddal. When you're trying to take off from a complete stop, flooring it will get you nowhere. You know that asshole who spins his tires and floats into traffic? You're him.
4) Don't cut me off. Simple. Just don't.
aaaand not so much a rule, but, if you're an idiot, I will call the cops. I've done it before, will certainly do it again. I have fantastic memory, I'll be sharing your plate number.
Ok, friends! Drive safe! Seriously... the roads are horrible.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Money doesn't grow on trees
But why not?
This would make my life infinitely easier.
Imagine this... You wake up in the morning to the beautiful sun shine. You go fetch that first cup of delicious coffee to wake you up. You find the mail and begin to open. Oh no... a bill; it's past due and you still don't have the money to make a substantial payment. Well, that's ok! Money grows on trees, remember? With a spring in your step, you skip happily to the yard and pluck off a couple of fresh, crisp $100 bills, and a nice $50 to get you through the day.
If only my imagination could create such things in real life, I'd be set.
Damn this lack of funds, damn it to hell.
This would make my life infinitely easier.
Imagine this... You wake up in the morning to the beautiful sun shine. You go fetch that first cup of delicious coffee to wake you up. You find the mail and begin to open. Oh no... a bill; it's past due and you still don't have the money to make a substantial payment. Well, that's ok! Money grows on trees, remember? With a spring in your step, you skip happily to the yard and pluck off a couple of fresh, crisp $100 bills, and a nice $50 to get you through the day.
If only my imagination could create such things in real life, I'd be set.
Damn this lack of funds, damn it to hell.
Friday, January 23, 2009
News bulletin
An update on my first blog entry--
Since my original post, I have slipped and landed on my rear end in the snow, with crisp white scrubs on... Ugh. This means it is NOW officially a Winter for me.
Since my original post, I have slipped and landed on my rear end in the snow, with crisp white scrubs on... Ugh. This means it is NOW officially a Winter for me.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I don't WANNNAAA...
go to school!
This is the closest I can get to tempter tantrum, and you're bearing witness. Please, picture a red face caused by holding my breath, and stomping feet.
That is all.
This is the closest I can get to tempter tantrum, and you're bearing witness. Please, picture a red face caused by holding my breath, and stomping feet.
That is all.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Promoting my boyfriend.
That's right... my female, not so manly, kinda goofy and horny boyfriend.
My favorite Yukonian Gold Star.
*drumroll*
http://www.yukongoldstar.blogspot.com/
Go.
Now.
Read.
Freeze.
My favorite Yukonian Gold Star.
*drumroll*
http://www.yukongoldstar.blogspot.com/
Go.
Now.
Read.
Freeze.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Winter hates me.
It really does.
I don't necessarily hate it back, but why must it be such a bitch?!
Fact 1- My truck. Winter and my truck are not friends. I try so very hard to make my truck understand that in order for me to get on with daily life, it must coexist peacefully with winter... to no avail. I have missed multiple school days, have been late for work and have had to kidnap my Mom's beloved Jeep.
Fact 2- Water. Ours was frozen. This makes showering and remaining non-stinky and gross very difficult. At this point I smell like hand sanitizer and baby wipes. Delicious, I know.
I feel like I can't actually call this season winter yet. I know what you're thinking; "But Michelle, there is 2 feet of snow and ice and frigid temperatures... it IS winter!" No, my friends... No. I cannot call it winter until I fall onto my bum. Every year, I seem to take a seriously OUCH spill at the very same spot on my front step. This hasn't happened yet. Almost, a couple of times, but I managed to regain my footing. I should let it happen next time and hope the winter Gods are satisfied.
Humph.
I don't necessarily hate it back, but why must it be such a bitch?!
Fact 1- My truck. Winter and my truck are not friends. I try so very hard to make my truck understand that in order for me to get on with daily life, it must coexist peacefully with winter... to no avail. I have missed multiple school days, have been late for work and have had to kidnap my Mom's beloved Jeep.
Fact 2- Water. Ours was frozen. This makes showering and remaining non-stinky and gross very difficult. At this point I smell like hand sanitizer and baby wipes. Delicious, I know.
I feel like I can't actually call this season winter yet. I know what you're thinking; "But Michelle, there is 2 feet of snow and ice and frigid temperatures... it IS winter!" No, my friends... No. I cannot call it winter until I fall onto my bum. Every year, I seem to take a seriously OUCH spill at the very same spot on my front step. This hasn't happened yet. Almost, a couple of times, but I managed to regain my footing. I should let it happen next time and hope the winter Gods are satisfied.
Humph.
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